38. On Parenthood+Work & Mindful Returns with Lori Mihalich-Levin

Overview

I was thrilled to be joined by Lori Mihalich-Levin, founder and CEO of Mindful Return, to talk about parenthood+work and helping parents navigate this stage in life and career. Lori champions parents having a more mindful return back to the office after welcoming a baby and offers an e-course that supports parents through the transition. And, her research shows that it delivers results!

In the conversation, we talk about the role of work during this stage in life, how work and life enrich each other, and how being a parent makes us better professionals. Lori shares narratives that need to change, how this stage brings up challenges with professional and personal identity, and the importance of community to support building resilience. Lori offers her own practices that have helped her in making working parenthood more sustainable, encourages parents to avoid comparison, and counsels to not worry about missing out and instead trust in the abundance of opportunities in the world. 

There are a lot of great tips in this episode for expecting parents and employers who want to better support and retain working parents. Look also for a new program in the coming year from Mindful Return that will be for any working parent struggling with juggling it all. And even if you aren’t a parent, I think this episode still holds insights that can be considered as part of building a more sustainable life+work. 

Thank you for the great work you are doing in the world, Lori, and for sharing your wisdom with us!

More about Our Guest

Lori Mihalich-Levin, JD, believes in inspiring and empowering working parents. She is the founder and CEO of Mindful Return, author of Back to Work After Baby: How to Plan and Navigate a Mindful Return from Maternity Leave, and co-host of the Parents at Work Podcast. She is mama to two wonderful red-headed boys (ages 8 and 10) and is a health care lawyer in private practice. Her thought leadership has been featured in publications including Forbes, Fortune, The Washington Post, New York Times Parenting, Thrive Global, and The Huffington Post.

Topics Covered

  • We start by hearing what brought Lori to the work she is doing with Mindful Return, where she is now the full-time CEO and continues to be a practicing lawyer. Lori started her career as a lawyer and worked in different organizations, including a traditional law firm as a partner, never expecting to become an entrepreneur. She started Mindful Return she says out of sheer desperation, finding a need she had as a new parent that was not being filled in the marketplace. She found that there was little out there to help people with the personal and professional identity transition that the parent goes through upon their return to work.

  • I ask Lori about her perspective on the role of work and career in life. She references the concept of work life enrichment and how work and life enrich each other. She believes she is a better parent because she has work ambitions, and she believes she is a better professional because she is a parent. She notes that there is other research that shows that having a passion project or a side gig actually makes us a better, more engaged worker. She is also a fan of the idea of a portfolio career and recognizes that we can have these different elements of our life, yet our priorities across them might change at different times. We advocate that perspective, as well, here at Sustainable Ambition.

  • Like us, she is also not a fan of the term work-life balance and seeing these as two elements of life or that it starts with work. It’s just life, and work is a part of it, Lori shared.

  • Lori talks about a narrative that needs to change is that parenthood somehow makes us less of an employee. She’d argue that parenthood actually is a leadership asset and makes people better employees. There are a lot of skills one gains when becoming a parent.

  • Lori references the book, “Tending: Parenthood and the Future of Work” by Amy Henderson, that references the work by Dr. Ruth Feldhorn and shares that at the time of becoming a parent is a time that one’s brain changes. In essence, becoming a parent is a time of growth for oneself not just your baby and for anyone involved in the child’s caretaking, not just the mother.

  • We come back to the topic of professional and personal identity and the impact that happens at this time of transition. This topic comes up a lot during life and career transitions, and Lori even shares this was the case in terms of leaving her law firm saying that she questioned, “What would it mean if I’m not a partner?” She notes how entering parenthood shakes our confidence and our idea of our competence, because it’s something new that we are not good at. Again, this has application for anything new we take on as adults and as we step into new growth opportunities in our career. Parenthood is similar.

  • During this time of growth, Lori talks about why it’s important to not go it alone and seek out community. Lori notes that research shows that you can build resilience faster when connecting with others.

  • With the Mindful Return eCourse that Lori started, parents go through as part of a cohort to have that community of support. The data shows that the eCourse program works—the national average return rate is 64% whereas with the Mindful Return program 85% of people are still at their same employer and 93% are still in the workforce. That’s success!

  • Lori has also started many working parent groups over the course of her career and also started a working parent group network. I asked her what she’s learned through that activity and what companies can do to support parents better. She would encourage companies to create these programs with strong support from the top, an executive sponsor, and proper funding. It demonstrates that you care and are committed to retaining working parents. And it pays off to properly support parents, because parents who are supported by their employers are intensely loyal.

  • As we talk about structures, it’s not surprising to hear Lori mention the importance of companies offering flexibility and having empathy. She talks about the importance of thinking about all stakeholders when making it all more sustainable. It’s not just for the parents; it needs to work for employers, too. She also shares the idea for individuals to dream big, but also be realistic and some truths around letting people help, getting past “maternal gatekeeping,” and being flexible with our flexibility. I think there are some really great points Lori covers here.

  • I ask Lori her perspective on pacing and how to think about that during the stage of parenthood and navigating one’s career. While I ask from a company perspective, wishing that companies considered this life stage and impact for pacing and potential, she starts with considering the parent’s perspective. She notes that parents can often beat themselves up for not being all in at work, nor all in at home. She notes the importance of being patient and to avoid comparison, calling on Theodore Roosevelt’s quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” With regard to company’s, she does come back to the point of retention and how parents are loyal when they are treated with empathy.

  • I ask Lori about her own structures that have worked for her to make being a working parent more sustainable. She shares her mindfulness-based practices and champions the idea of micro-self care. She has a practice called I.S.S. that she does in the shower: I = intention (set an intention for the day), S = stretch (stretch your body), S = savor (a gratitude practice). She does 15 minutes of daily yoga, embraces short pauses, and makes sure she gets 7 hours of sleep.

  • How do you take real breaks and vacations? It’s helpful to have an accountability partner, Lori shares, plan coverage while away, set expectations with others, and be diligent about protecting your time on vacation. Plus, remember if you’ve taken leave, you’ve learned already how to plan for being out. Leverage those skills. Lori also shares how she and her husband plan every Saturday evening and twice a year to plan their time and strategize breaks.

  • I start to close by asking Lori about her hope for parents. What she wants to see is that having a child and being a parent is viewed as a normal way of functioning in the world.

  • I ask her about her current ambition and so appreciate that she takes a full life view to it. Her ambition for Mindful Return is to expand its reach with companies and around the world.

  • Her parting thought for all of you: It will all be okay, and take the pressure off around having concern about missing opportunities, because opportunities are abundant in the world.

Resources Mentioned

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38. On Parenthood+Work & Mindful Returns with Lori Mihalich-Levin

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