Sustainable Ambition Forum - 06.21.22
Preamble:
As we start the summer (I mean, don’t you want to be in that scene above!), I get that it may feel counterintuitive for me to be writing about ambition. Yet, the topic has been on my mind. Plus, as the second quarter of the year comes to a close, I believe it’s a good time to check in on both our stretch for the year and our sustaining plans. I’ll write more about the latter in the coming months, as summer calls for a slowing down. But for now, let’s look at ambition and what makes it more sustainable.
I recently had someone say to me, “Wow, Kathy, you’re ambitious!” It came across as a judgment, not a compliment or encouragement. What I heard was: “Why are you pushing so hard? Why are you striving? Where are you trying to get to? Slow down.”
Women often get denounced for being ambitious. Look at Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris. How dare they want to be President or Vice President?
But I don’t think that’s why this person, another woman, said what she said. What was going on there? There could be a number of different explanations. Perhaps ambition makes some people uncomfortable or seeing it in others stresses them out. I don’t want to be judgmental about it. As I start to research ambition more, I’m learning that to be human is to be ambitious, and the level of ambition can vary from person to person, from task to task, and from life stage to life stage. It’s not something we should feel ashamed about regardless of its level of intensity.
Why? Because ambition takes a dialing in. I’m starting to frame this idea that there is a “right level” of ambition and energy (think Goldilocks here)—too much has downsides (research has shown it can lead to lower levels of happiness and health over time). Too little and you can feel like you are stagnating or languishing. What’s the right focus? Our ambition can change if we find the right goal or topic that lights us up. What’s right for you at a particular time in your life? We can be just as ambitious about family as we are about work. And, we’re not all wired the same. Our level of ambition might not look like someone else’s. (More to come on the topic of “right ambition.”)
But let’s step back, why is ambition often viewed negatively? To simplify here, it’s because of definitions such as this: “ambition is an ardent desire for rank, fame, or power.”
How do I define ambition in a way that I think is positive and helpful?
The dictionary definition that is more positive reads:
a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work
a desire and determination to achieve success
My working definition is: the focus, determination, and energy put towards a self-defined worthy, meaningful goal.
What I champion here at Sustainable Ambition is to define our own ambition and to be sure to even ask ourselves the question. Many of us don’t reflect on our ambition—What do I really want to accomplish if I define it for myself? What is a worthy, meaningful goal? What would I do if I could? What is worth putting my focus, determination, and energy into? How good do I even want to be and at what?
When defining this, it’s important to attune to yourself and what you want. Sustainable Ambition is about defining ambition and success on your terms, attuning to you to make life+work personally rewarding. When our ambitions are motivated from outside of us, they can go sour. They are not sustainable.
Another aspect of Sustainable Ambition that is critical to me is for it to be a no-judgment zone. I don’t want to be judged for my ambitions, just as I shouldn’t judge another person’s ambitions. Are one person’s ambitions more worthy than another? Is one’s ambition around his career more worthy than his ambition around his family?
Finally, what I also don’t want to accept is putting a negative spin on ambition, going back to where I started. If people didn’t embrace ambition, we wouldn’t have:
Martin Luther King Jr. having championed civil rights.
President Kennedy setting forth the goal to put a man on the moon and return him safely to earth.
Art from any famous or non-famous artist that expresses our culture and our world.
And so on.
I was able to ask in an informal survey how people feel their ambition serves them. Here’s what they said:
Finding purpose
Living with conviction
Motivation and energy to keep engaged and moving forward in life
Wanting to be successful
Being goal-driven
Being audacious and taking bold risks
Growth and learning
Making an impact in the world
Being able to help others through one’s work
Providing resources and knowledge to others
As we start to get to the midpoint of this year, it’s a good time to step back and use the early summer months to slow down and reflect on your own ambition. Below I offer 6 questions to do so.
But here I’ll also leave you with the prompt that I put in the survey: What is a positive way that you view your own ambition? In what way is your own personal ambition a good thing to you?
Happy Summer Solstice! Enjoy all that summer has to offer. Now that’s something to be ambitious about!
Warmly,
Kathy Oneto
Founder of Sustainable Ambition
P.S. And belated Happy Father’s Day and Happy Juneteenth! Lots to be happy about. 🎉
The Round-Up
What happens when we stretch ourselves? Lessons from Benjamin Hardy to normalize how stretching throws us off-kilter for a bit, but then we find our footing and step back into confidence again. Growth is good.
Don’t let others squash your ambition. Surround yourself with those who see your value and believe in you.
What’s your worthy goal? For any of you out there wondering how to bring more purpose into your work, I’ll point you to the book “How to Begin” by Michael Bungay Stanier. In it, he offers a specific approach to crafting a worthy goal that is powerful.
Many of us look to our companies to find our purpose: “I want to work for a purpose-driven company.” I’d point you instead to crafting your own worthy goal standing right where you are. And make that an ambition you’ll manifest either in your personal life or your professional life. And start with you. Purpose isn’t found out there or in your company. Purpose starts with you. So, start with “How to Begin,” craft your worthy goal, and start living into your purpose.
Podcast Player
“You can’t protect someone from their ambition or destiny.” I appreciated this conversation about stepping into your ambition with Brandi Carlile and André De Shields.
Optimize your motivation. I LOVED this episode with Dr. Rick Hanson on how to sustain our striving and stay motivated in pursuing our ambitions. They dig into the science to better understand how our brain works so we can operate at our best in streching for our goals.
How to work with your ambition. I appreciated this episode from Cal Newport in which he answers listener questions. There are a few spots to point you to around how to work with your ambition that I thought were helpful: [28:10] - How do I overcome the sense of being overwhelmed by all of my goals? [1:01:01] - How do I turn off my ambitious mind?
Accepting our ordinariness. This was another Being Well episode I loved on “Overcoming Comparison and Accepting Ordinary” with Dr. Ron Siegel. Lots of great insights here as we think about our own right ambition and how to move away from outside influences.
The Book Shelf
Serious summer reading: A great round-up of recommended books on a series of topics with a short-description and options to dig in if you’d like more.
Reading close to home. Books set where you live.
Smiling - It’s summer!
We all scream for ice cream! The best ice cream. Or, make it at home.
Remember to pause and relish joyful moments. In the park this past week, I was reminded of this sentiment.
I saw a homeless man stopping to smell the roses.
I saw two friends playing on a bench and bursting into laughter.
I, along with others, stopped to watch the baby ducklings at the lake.
If you slow down long enough, what do you notice?
A summer playlist. Listen here.
Join me for conversations with experts, authors, and friends on what it means to live with Sustainable Ambition.
Accomplishing doesn’t have to mean overwork. In both these conversations, we hear wise counsel on how to work smarter to achieve our personal ambitions.
Episode #55: On Being Ambitious with Strategic In/Action with Jinny Uppal
Jinny Uppal is the author of the new book, IN/ACTION: Rethinking the Path to Results. In this conversation, Jinny shares how the book was written for people who are ambitious and that there is a better way to drive results than to always lean into the prevalent cultural bias for action. She encourages us to find the courage to embrace reflective thinking and strategic inaction, which offer a less stressful and more efficient way of achieving more by “doing” less.
Listen on Apple here or on our website here
Episode #60: On The Success Factor: A Blueprint for High Performance with Ruth Gotian
Ruth Gotian has for decades studied and researched the most successful people of our generation, including Nobel laureates, astronauts, and Olympic champions, to understand what they do when the world isn't watching that ultimately put them in an elite class of people who achieved exceptional success. In this conversation, we dig into Ruth’s research and her new book, The Success Factor: Developing the Mindset and Skillset for Peak Business Performance. Ruth offers many great insights from the best of the best, and the book offers useful guides to support your own personal journey.
Listen on Apple here or on our website here
You can also find the podcast, subscribe, and listen on Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Overcast.
6 Ambition Questions:
How would you rate your level of ambition right now on your terms? Too high (I’m in danger!), just right (I’m loving it!), too low (I’m languishing)?
In what area(s) of your life do you want to put your focus and be ambitious?
At what pace do you want to be operating at right now (fast, medium, slow)?
What is a worthy, meaningful goal you can define that gets you energized and motivated (dare I say ambitious!)?
In the next 6 months, how good do you want to be (good, very good, the best) and at what?
Around your goals, where can you pause or not act such that it would actually help propel you forward?
Find Your Guide:
Find the perfect guide to match your journey.
“Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
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SUSTAINABLE AMBITION™ IS ABOUT CRAFTING A FULFILLING CAREER TO SUPPORT YOUR LIFE FROM DECADE TO DECADE.
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