Rewrite the Rules
I’ve been thinking about rule-breakers lately. Not the reckless kind, but the quiet revolutionaries who look at the systems around them and ask: “What if there’s a better way?”
I think of myself as a rule follower, and honestly, I’m a bit embarrassed to admit it. I follow rules out of conscientiousness, not because I necessarily think the rules are right and good. But it took a discussion in Tara McMullin’s Summer Seminar (where we’ve been exploring a book and discussing system and game theory) to more fully embrace that what I’ve been championing with Sustainable Ambition is what some might define as radical and subversive behavior, a pushing against existing systems and structures.
This really shouldn’t have surprised me. I state as such in my work. For example:
Define success on your own terms, not based on external guides
Reclaim ambition and break free from existing, limiting cultural framing
Be discerning about the game you want to play
Choose what rules you want to follow
And all along, I’ve been asking questions in my work about how we navigate toward what works best for us, while operating within the structures and systems that exist. It starts with shifting our mindsets. Then, I believe in looking for resonance and finding as much congruence as possible. Yet, I still feel like I’m forming additional theories about how to truly navigate with agency within existing structures.
What I have learned: Finding sustainability often means stepping outside the norm, and writing your own rules.
Many of us today can experience that moment when we realize we’ve been playing someone else’s game and trying to play by someone else’s rules, and something inside us whispers, “This isn’t working. This isn’t sustainable.”
Our current systems—whether in work, life, or the intersection of both—weren’t designed with sustainability in mind. They were built for different times, different values, different definitions of what it means to thrive. And yet we keep playing by these outdated rules, wondering why we feel unfulfilled, burned out, or like we’re constantly falling short.
It’s why in my work with Sustainable Ambition I guide us to reclaim the terms that define how we navigate and make choices for our life and work:
Success becomes rooted in your personal reward, not external validation
Ambition expands beyond just career achievement to encompass your whole life
Effort becomes strategic and sustainable, not about giving 110% all the time
Here’s what this looks like in practice. In my latest podcast episode, I revisit three conversations that perfectly illustrate this principle of rewriting the rules and align to the pillars of Sustainable Ambition. Each guest found their own way to create sustainability by refusing to accept the status quo:
Heather Ainsworth questioned whether she had "played small" throughout her career, only to realize she had actually been living a deeply values-based life—just perhaps not according to traditional metrics of success.
Dr. Sahar Yousef developed her own framework for decision-making, asking: "What will my future self thank me for?" She recognized that trying to "do it all at once" would lead to what she calls "reckless ambition," so she paced her goals over life stages.
Jack Hsueh, an ultra-marathoner, redefined what success meant in his sport. Rather than making finishing races his only definition of success, he learned to pace himself and find meaning in the process and putting in the hard work, not just glorifying the outcome.
Each of these individuals looked at the conventional rules of their game and decided to write new ones. (Listen to the episode here on your favorite podcast player.)
As I said, I’ve always considered myself a rule-follower. But the more I reflect on my journey, the more I realize I’ve been quietly pushing against rules that didn’t feel right—and I suspect you have too.
Maybe you’ve taken an unconventional career path. Maybe you’ve set boundaries that others questioned. Maybe you’ve defined success differently than your peers. These are signs of good rebellion—the kind that honor who you are and what you want.
The question isn’t whether you should break the rules. The question is: Which rules are worth keeping, and which ones are keeping you from the life you actually want?
As you move through this week, perhaps notice where you might be playing by someone else’s rules out of habit rather than choice.
Where can you work within the systems and structures and subversively, radically perhaps, make shifts that align better to your own beliefs and shape your ambitions to create the life you want?
Want to get insights, tips, and tools on how to live with Sustainable Ambition? Join in here. Welcome!
Sustainable Ambition offers a strategic approach for pursuing our professional and personal goals in a way that is motivating, meaningful, and manageable from stage to stage, rather than be all consuming in a way that compromises other important aspects of our lives or sacrifices our well-being.