Meaning and Fulfillment vs. Success
Many of us get tripped up when we use the concept of “success” as a barometer to measure our value, contributions, and lives.
When we ask, “Am I successful?,” it brings up connotations of rising to a certain level in an organization, comparing oneself to others to see if we’re reaching the same bar, or the idea that one should be great at all she does. For moms who choose to work, there’s added pressure to balance driving for success in the office with being a successful parent at home. For those who don’t follow the traditional career path in a large organization and go up, up, up, one may feel as if she doesn’t fit in given traditional measures of success.
There’s a great TED Radio hour from NPR on “Success” that can provide inspiration on this topic. One of the people the host Guy Raz interviews is Tony Robbins. In the piece, Robbins notes at the end of their conversation how the word success grates on him and that what he prefers to focus on is creating a meaningful life—focusing instead on what inspires, motivates, and drives you. Listen to the talk here.
I like to think of it as fulfillment. A few of the definitions of fulfillment are:
- “The achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted.”
- “Satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one’s abilities or character.”
This re-frame puts measurement back in your court. Fulfillment is a personal matter. Success is often defined by outside measures. Can you reframe how you look at your choices through the lens of fulfillment and find a new view, one that’s driven by internal desires and motivations rather than outside pressures?
This simple shift in questioning from “am I successful?” to “am I fulfilled?” can change many of the choices with which we struggle. For example, one may find that it has been more fulfilling to continue to have new experiences and learn in different companies and roles than having stayed at the same company for 10 plus years. One may not be considered as “successful” as others by traditional measures, but she may be more enriched by all the different experiences and, more importantly, feel more fulfilled than if she had taken the traditional path.
A final way to look at this is based on an insight from Fred Kofman, Ph.D. in Economics, VP at LinkedIn, and author of “Conscious Business.” He speaks to the concept of “Success Beyond Success,” where one finds fulfillment when aligning her actions with her values. In essence, one can find success regardless of outcome if she operates in alignment with her values, something that is completely within one’s control.
The Insight: Ask yourself, “What choice can I make that will help me lead a fulfilled life as defined by my own measures and what I value?” Perhaps the answer to this question will provide some peace around your choices.