112. Helping the Next Generation Redefine Success on their Terms with Irena Smith

Overview

How do we help the next generation define success on their own terms?

My guest, Irena Smith, offers wisdom and advice from her years of experience working with college applicants and her own life experience in her memoir, The Golden Ticket: A Life in College Admissions Essays.

Her book explores the college application process from the perspective of a parent, college counselor, and admissions officer. She challenges the societal expectations of success, especially for young people, and encourages parents to meet their children where they are and not to force them into pursuing a passion just because it's expected.

Many of Irena’s insights don’t apply solely to young people. In fact, from my perspective, many of the college application questions in her book are good self-reflection questions for us older folks, too, and the questions Irena raises are important for us to consider as we continue to shape and grow our notions of success throughout our lives.

In our conversation, we explore the impact and consequences of well-intentioned expectations, be it if they are parental or societal, and we cover the topics of ambition, striving, finding one’s spark, and more.

More About Our Guest

Irena Smith was born in the former Soviet Union and grew up in Moscow; when she was nine, her family emigrated from the USSR and sought asylum in the United States as political refugees. She received a PhD in comparative literature from UCLA and taught humanities and composition at Stanford before transitioning to college admissions work and writing. She is an advocate of earnest but imperfect parenting, chocolate-covered espresso beans, and the Oxford comma.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • What Irena learned about ambition, striving, and expectations from raising her kids

  • Piecing together the sometimes hidden and unintentional narrative through-lines in college applications

  • How Irena helps students cut through the noise of who they “should” be to find their true spark

  • Why it’s essential for parents and caregivers to meet kids where they are if they want them to find their own path

  • The mental and physical impacts of disproportionate expectations on kids and their parents

  • Defining success outside of social and cultural expectations

  • How common college essay questions can help adults reflect on and navigate life changes and growth

Learn more about Irena Smith:

Resources Mentioned

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