Sustainable Ambition Forum - 4.25.24
Most of us don’t like change. We’re taught that we should hurry up and find out who we are and who we want to become. I was just reading a book that recalled a character at seven years of age being asked by his father, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” As I read it, I thought, “What absurd questions we ask children! How could he possibly know at that age. We don’t know ourselves.” And yet, perhaps the young give the most unvarnished answers. Outside voices haven’t had time to intervene.
Regardless, the reality is that we are always becoming. That seven-year-old will learn more about himself and shift his thinking over time. But we aren’t always adept at allowing ourselves to step into new identities, often leaving people feeling fear and angst. I just had a coaching session where this came up, where my client acknowledged that she wasn’t sure if she would have the courage and endurance to step into something new.
To be sure, transitions can be challenging and uncomfortable and will take time. Yet they are possible and can allow us to explore multiple sides of ourselves.
Creatives and artists are great role models for this way of being. They push against being typecast. Think Meryl Streep (from Kramer vs. Kramer to Mamma Mia!), Viola Davis (from Fences to How to Get Away with Murder), or Bradley Cooper (from Wedding Crashers to A Star is Born) With music, I always think of Madonna, having grown up with her music. Taylor Swift has, of course, done this in today’s era. It’s also similar to artist’s creative periods, like Picasso’s Blue and Rose periods or Georgia O’Keefe who shifted her work over time like when she was in New York and first uncovered her abstract style and later in New Mexico when she furthered that approach in connection with nature.
This concept of allowing ourselves to change over time came up in my podcast conversation with Bonnie Wan, author of The Life Brief. Bonnie is someone who has been ambitious in both her professional and personal life, and she wrote her first Life Brief when she was going through a difficult time in her family life. It has become her practice and a way she has brought sustainability to how she lives and works. (I share more details on our conversation and Bonnie’s book below).
One of the things I appreciated about Bonnie’s book was that she acknowledged how our world changes and, thus, our briefs need revisiting. She said:
So I think there’s an illusion of safety in sameness, in the status quo, and that’s not real. The forces are changing all around us. I think it’s going to be an imperative for us to be connected and tuned into our own inner truths and inner compass as the world continues to speed up and throw us curveballs.
One way to create a cocoon for liminal time periods is to get grounded in ourselves, as Bonnie notes, to tap into who we are and who we are becoming in this new moment.
You don’t have to be locked in to who you have been. You can step into new possibilities. Your identity and your future aren’t fixed. And your ambitions can shift and change to align with what you want do, who you want to be, and who you want to become now.
What might be possible if you allowed yourself to step into what’s calling you now?
The Monthly Round-Up: You + Life + Work
Ideas on becoming consciously ambitious and thriving in life and work
💡 Inspiration
A mid-career check-in. Peter Drucker said about our second careers that we need to start planning them sooner than we think. I agree. If you're at that stage, here are six areas to consider for the next stage from Chip Conley, founder of the Modern Elder Academy and author of his latest book, Learning to Love Midlife: 12 Reasons Why Life Gets Better with Age.
Allowing new expressions of ourselves. Sharon Stone is another creative who has chosen to express herself in another medium, recently holding her first art exhibit of her paintings. Instead of allowing Hollywood to define the parameters around which she could operate, she’s instead chosen to share her voice in a new way. I have to say, I’m impressed and am drawn to her work.
Uncertainty and change go hand in hand. It's best to get comfortable with both. I've been fascinated with the topic of managing through ambiguity and uncertainty this year and am digging into research. I picked up and just started the book Uncertain: The Wisdom and Wonder of Being Unsure by Maggie Jackson. This article shares insights from an interview with her on how uncertainty is a strength, how stepping into curiosity can support us, and why it can help us think differently, in a good way. Net—when we're going through liminal states, consider reframing your uncertainty toward how it could serve you.
📚 Reading: Free Time: Lose the Busywork, Love Your Business, by Jenny Blake.
Not satisfied with the trajectory you're on? Wondering what's next? Too afraid to ask what you really, really want?
The Life Brief by Bonnie Wan is a perfect antidote. The book is inspirational, informative, and instructive. Bonnie takes you through a range of creative exercises to get messy to get to clarity, so you are naturally pulled toward courageously creating the life you want. The Life Brief is a practice you can come back to again and again as you change—because life does that to you—and apply it to multiple aspects of your life. Highly recommend!
🎙️ Listening: The answer isn’t always to do more.
It was interesting to listen to Jared Cohen (worked at the State Department, Jigsaw at Google) with Adam Grant talk about his book, Life After Power, about seven U.S. presidents who defined what was next for themselves. They are examples of being able to reshape how we contribute in the world and find renewed purpose.
🎥 Watching: Create Your Anthology
It's not like I was a full-on fan-girl, but I have always admired Madonna for her moxy, creativity, and evolution. I love her as inspiration for our ability to reinvent ourselves and change our story and narrative. She once said, “No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.”
I periodically re-watch her Super Bowl half-time show, admiring the evolution of her music over time and ability to partner with artists from different music genres and ears. Each time I watch, it reminds me of this point. Plus, she knows how to put on a show, and I think this is one of the best ever.
😀 Smiling: Beautiful stories from The Moth Radio Hour
More often than not, we grow and change the most through challenging times. Such times can also help us step more into ourselves, even when the circumstances might have been unjust. This episode from The Moth Radio Hour offers beautiful stories of people finding moments of grace during unexpected times: a frustration that led to inspiration by chance, a shift in perspective that allowed someone to win, turning a devastating event into meaning, and finding comfort and belonging in community around a shared love.
The Sustainable Ambition Podcast
Conversations with experts, authors, and friends on what it means to live with Sustainable Ambition.
🎙️ E129: The Life Brief: The Creative Practice to Create the Life You Really Want with Bonnie Wan
Are you afraid to ask yourself what you really, really want? It can be daunting, but getting clear about what you want is critical to creating the life you desire. In this episode, Bonnie Wan, partner and Head of Brand Strategy at Goodby, Silverstein & Partners, one of Fast Company’s 2021 Most Innovative Companies In The World, joins me to discuss the journey of developing her new book The Life Brief and expanding it from her own personal practice to something she now teaches others, why you have to get messy to get clarity, and how to courageously create the life you want.
Listen on your favorite player here or on our website here
🎙️ E130. Embracing How Our Ambitions Shift and Evolve
In this solo show I dig into why evolving ambitions are inevitable, and even desirable, and offer three alternative ways to reframe ambition so it is sustainable over the course of our lives.
Listen on your favorite player here or on our website here
You can also find the podcast, subscribe, and listen on Apple, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Overcast, and more. Get it here.
A Monthly Practice
Know yourself. Things can change on us, so it's a good practice and helpful to periodically check-in with yourself. One area to explore is what gives and takes away your energy. To do so, look back at your last week or month and create two lists: 1) What energized you? Do more of this. 2) What drained you? Do less of this.
“Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next.”
— Gilda Radner