Sustainable Ambition Forum - 05.17.22
One of the most common phrases I hear from coaching clients and people I talk to about career inflection points is, “I don’t know what I want to do!”
And yet, as Lisa Lewis Miller so clearly stated in Episode 11 on The Sustainable Ambition Podcast, you are the only one who will know.
Plus, as David Brown so aptly said in Episode 9, “There really isn’t a sustainable option other than to be yourself.”
What I have come to believe is that fulfillment and success in our lives and work will only be sustainable if we define them for ourselves. And that takes knowing ourselves.
So to move from not knowing to knowing, we need to attune to ourselves and define our own success to make life+work personally rewarding. Work stops working when we realize we’ve been living someone else’s dreams or have been attuning to society’s norms that are no longer in sync with who we are now, our values, or how we want to contribute.
If you are one of the many who find themselves saying, “I just don’t know what I want,” first know that it is normal. In the busyness of our lives and when we get entrenched in our work, we often can’t find the time to pause to tune into ourselves and listen. We fail to stop and ask, “What is calling me now?”
To get past feeling stuck, let me offer a few thoughts to help move you forward. These ask that you slow down, listen, and get into action.
Reframe “I don’t know” into “there are all kinds of possibilities!” My mentor has shared this insight with me: “Are you certain of what’s next? No. Good! That means there are all kinds of possibilities!” What a beautiful reframe. Knowing means certainty, means one path. Not knowing means uncertainty and a world of possibility. I’m all for that. I get excited each time I remind myself of this short exchange. The reframe can turn frustration into exploration and adventure. What’s possible?
Create space to hear yourself. Often when we don’t know, it’s because we haven’t given ourselves the space to hear ourselves and know what we want. Find quiet time for you to be alone with your thoughts be it through journaling, a walk in nature, or simply allowing your mind to wander.
Pay attention. A key mindset for Sustainable Ambition is paying attention and being present to what is attracting your interest. Get curious about what is attracting your attention now.
Try out my new book, My Little Book of Curiosity! It’s for this very reason that I created my latest book, to turn what can feel like an angst-ridden process into one of exploration and adventure. It helps guide you to explore your curiosities. You can learn more details below. I’ll also point you to this month’s Monthly Progress Practice to inspire you to explore and create new connections, again following your curiosities.
Get into action. We won’t know what we want only through thinking. We learn what fits us by doing. It’s by trying things out that we over time find “match quality” for what is calling us now. Herminia Ibarra writes about getting into action in her seminal book, Working Identity, featured below.
Wishing you a renewed sense of exploration and wonder around what might be calling you now and leading you to your next adventure or growth curve.
Warmly,
Kathy
Introducing My Little Book of Curiosity!
I created My Little Book of Curiosity for anyone wondering what might be next for their life or career or for those who want to stay on a growth and learning curve and remain engaged and ambitious from decade to decade.
With prompts to help you explore your curiosities, the book guides you to then find patterns, looking for the common themes, as well as the details, that offer clues to what’s calling your attention and where to put your focus next.
What I was trying to do with the book is turn what often can be an angst-ridden process that feels like hard work trying to “figure it out” into play and wonder, lightening the experience towards one of exploration and discovery. The book provides the structure to make the time to listen to what’s inside—what you want for yourself—and what’s calling you next.
Sound fun? Sound illuminating? Let the adventure begin!
Learn more here!
“Mere curiosity adds wings to every step.”
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The Round-Up
How to live in not knowing: Check out my Thrive Global article, “A Guide to Living in Not Knowing,” to go deeper on the topic.
Wisdom for every stage: I love this round-up of what these creative people wish they knew at every stage from one’s 20’s to the 70’s. The insights suggest a sense of ease, letting go, giving in to enjoyment, being patience, and creating what you want. What on the list do you find inspiring and calming when not knowing?
Finding your new work identity: For years I’ve loved Herminia Ibarra’s work and her pioneering book on career pivots, Working Identity: Unconventional Strategies for Reinventing Your Career. I pulled it out again at the start of the year to review her research. A few takeaways: 1) switching careers is like creating a new working identity, 2) given that, it takes time, and 3) you won’t know what you want to do until you get into action and start trying on the different identities.
You can find an assessment here that is based on Ibarra’s work to see if it’s time to rethink your career.
Embracing uncertainty. I loved this conversation with Kaira Jewel Lingo, a former Buddhist nun at the Plum Village community under the guidance of Thich Naht Han, discussing cultivating trust and equanimity when uncertain and sitting with the unknown. She, too, like Ibarra, talk about how getting into action can help with living through that not knowing.
What do you know?
When you feel unmoored, a good question to get grounded is to ask, “What do I know?”
Then get smart and smile: start with, in this vast universe of the world, what do I know?
Blessing the Boats
by Lucille Clifton
may the tide
that is entering even now
the lip of our understanding
carry you out
beyond the face of fear
may you kiss
the wind then turn from it
certain that it will
love your back may you
open your eyes to water
water waving forever
and may you in your innocence
sail through this to that
Source: Blessing the Boats: New and Selected Poems 1988-2000 (BOA Editions Ltd., 2000)
The Monthly Progress Practice: May
At the beginning of each year, we share our Monthly Progress Practice. Progress is made through small, consistent action. Practice makes progress. We offer a monthly guidance on small actions or inquiries to inspire positive change this year.
Our guidance for May: Don’t focus. How can you expand your horizons and bring in different fields of insight? What divergent thinking can unlock new insights? Allow your brain freedom to play.
“It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work and that when we no longer know which way to go we have begun our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.”
— Wendell Berry
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SUSTAINABLE AMBITION™ IS ABOUT CRAFTING A FULFILLING CAREER TO SUPPORT YOUR LIFE FROM DECADE TO DECADE.
It is centered around articulating your personal definition of success and achieving that without burnout while honoring your personal aspirations and ambitions as they ebb and flow over time. The end game—more fulfillment and ease in your professional and personal life, while still being ambitious.
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