Year End Wisdom from Life's Paradoxes
A persistent theme has been present for me this year: that many concepts have negative societal associations (e.g., ambition is bad!) but in reality are not so black and white (e.g., ambition actually is good!, but we need to make it sustainable). Concepts are rarely either or, but rather live in this and that.
For example, as we move toward the shortest day of the year, consider that darkness is not necessarily negative. As this story about a northernmost town in Norway reflects, being in darkness for three months out of the year is something these residents choose and cherish. Embracing the season with a positive mindset allows people to live at a slower, peaceful pace, in tune with nature. The author writes that as one embraces this shift in thinking: “you aim to cherish the beauty in the little things, the broader picture of the whole year and the changes that come with each season start to become more beautiful as well.”
Similar to darkness, uncertainty may make us uncomfortable, yet within not knowing lives possibility, learning, and hopefulness. As Rebecca Solnit writes, “Hope is the story of uncertainty, of coming to terms with the risk involved in not knowing what comes next, which is more demanding than despair and, in a way, more frightening. And immeasurably more rewarding.” Uncertainty invites us to hope, to act, and to influence.
We tend to avoid complexity, and yet within complexity can live the answers. Often when we go for the simple and ignore the complex, we fail to recognize the way ecosystems work and the interconnectedness of many variables. The result: we experience unintended consequences. What if honoring complexity can actually bring awareness, stability, freedom, and the opportunity to live more fully?
Consider the most complex systems like the solar system, our bodies, and natural environments like the ocean, forests, and the atmosphere. They may be hard to understand, but we can be transformed if we approach them with curiosity, awe, and wonder. Such complex and large systems can also allow us to see ourselves as part of the broader picture. Instead of making us feel small, we can see our place in the larger whole and feel connected.
Darkness, uncertainty, complexity—these themes have also been present for me this year. In thinking about and researching them over the months, I've learned that their duality suggests three practices that can support us as we close this year and welcome the next:
First, we can both embrace darkness and acknowledge that it is both a part of life and can serve us, despite any associated pain. ****Even sorrow, as Susan Cain writes about in the book Bittersweet, can feed our soul. We can also choose the counterpoint and seek and step into the light. We can accept darkness, while also embracing joy and delight.
For example, I recently walked down a street in my neighborhood during a rainstorm and passed a man with his young son perched on his shoulders. The man had no umbrella, but his son huddled underneath his jacket hood. A minute later, I heard some rumblings, and then they raced past me to catch up with the street sweeper, waving enthusiastically at the driver who warmly waved back. What I initially saw as simply a father and son in the rain was actually a moment of anticipation that turned into delight—they had been waiting to greet this worker, creating a beautiful connection within our community. While the world can feel dark, these moments of connection and simple pleasure ground us in what matters most.
Second, as Rebecca Solnit encourages, we can choose to step into hope rather than let ourselves get lost in despair. I’ve also been inspired by the Snyder Hope Theory developed by positive psychologist Charles Rick Snyder. According to Snyder, hopeful thinkers achieve more and are physically and psychologically healthier than the less hopeful. His theory focuses on three key elements: establishing clear goals, imagining multiple pathways or ways to reach those goals, and having belief in your agency and ability to instigate change and persevere. Through this lens, we can see that setting meaningful goals and working toward them—in other words, being ambitious—is fundamentally hopeful!
Finally, we can cultivate awe and wonder. It’s easier than we think. Dr. Dacher Keltner researches the topic and wrote the book, “Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life.” He’s found that we naturally experience awe two to three times a week. But we can also search for it as a practice in our daily life. He writes: “We can find awe in eight wonders of life: moral beauty, collective effervescence, nature, music, visual design, spirituality and religion, life and death, and epiphany.”
As we close the year, I invite you to join me in embracing these paradoxes: nurturing joy and delight along with the darkness, embracing hope amidst uncertainty, and cultivating awe in the face of complexity. You can find a few end-of-year reflections here to ponder these themes as you look to what you want to take away from 2024 and shape for yourself in 2025.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday season filled with moments of both quiet contemplation and joyful celebration as this year draws to a close. May you find delight in life’s simple pleasures, wonder in its complexities, and hope in the possibilities that lie ahead.
Photo Note: Moon rising in Yosemite National Park, May 2024
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