What if you don’t know? Embrace possibility.
One of the most common phrases I hear from coaching clients and people I talk to about career inflection points is, “I don’t know what I want to do!”
And yet, as Lisa Lewis Miller so clearly stated in Episode 11 on The Sustainable Ambition Podcast, you are the only one who will know.
Plus, as David Brown so aptly said in Episode 9, “There really isn’t a sustainable option other than to be yourself.”
What I have come to believe is that fulfillment and success in our lives and work will only be sustainable if we define them for ourselves. And that takes knowing ourselves.
So to move from not knowing to knowing, we need to attune to ourselves and define our own success to make life+work personally rewarding. Work stops working when we realize we’ve been living someone else’s dreams or have been attuning to society’s norms that are no longer in sync with who we are now, our values, or how we want to contribute.
If you are one of the many who find themselves saying, “I just don’t know what I want,” first know that it is normal. In the busyness of our lives and when we get entrenched in our work, we often can’t find the time to pause to tune into ourselves and listen. We fail to stop and ask, “What is calling me now?”
To get past feeling stuck, let me offer a few thoughts to help move you forward. These ask that you slow down, listen, and get into action.
Reframe “I don’t know” into “there are all kinds of possibilities!” My mentor has shared this insight with me: “Are you certain of what’s next? No. Good! That means there are all kinds of possibilities!” What a beautiful reframe. Knowing means certainty, means one path. Not knowing means uncertainty and a world of possibility. I’m all for that. I get excited each time I remind myself of this short exchange. The reframe can turn frustration into exploration and adventure. What’s possible?
Create space to hear yourself. Often when we don’t know, it’s because we haven’t given ourselves the space to hear ourselves and know what we want. Find quiet time for you to be alone with your thoughts be it through journaling, a walk in nature, or simply allowing your mind to wander.
Pay attention. A key mindset for Sustainable Ambition is paying attention and being present to what is attracting your interest. Get curious about what is attracting your attention now.
Try out my new book, My Little Book of Curiosity! It’s for this very reason that I created my latest book, to turn what can feel like an angst-ridden process into one of exploration and adventure. It helps guide you to explore your curiosities. You can learn more details below. I’ll also point you to this month’s Monthly Progress Practice to inspire you to explore and create new connections, again following your curiosities.
Get into action. We won’t know what we want only through thinking. We learn what fits us by doing. It’s by trying things out that we over time find “match quality” for what is calling us now. Herminia Ibarra writes about getting into action in her seminal book, Working Identity, featured below.
Wishing you a renewed sense of exploration and wonder around what might be calling you now and leading you to your next adventure or growth curve.
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Sustainable Ambition™ is about crafting a fulfilling career to support your life from decade to decade.
It is centered around articulating your personal definition of success and achieving that without burnout while honoring your personal aspirations and ambitions as they ebb and flow over time. The end game—more fulfillment and ease in your professional and personal life, while still being ambitious.
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