“Professional” Girlfriends
I know it’s a bit of a weird title, but what I mean is how lucky one is to have girlfriends who also to happen to be professional colleagues, serving as both friends and business and career advisors. It’s interesting—women are often told to seek mentors (which often means people older and more experienced in their profession) to help them succeed in their careers. Yet, as I look back on my own career history, it’s actually been my peers who have been my best supporters. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be where I am without having the support of these women. I have been quite blessed to have them on my side and champion me or contribute to my success along the way.
Take JS (using initials here to protect the privacy of my career girlfriends). We both started new jobs at the same time at our firm, yet she was returning to the company post business school. That meant she already had credibility and the ear of others. That year the market in consulting happened to be slow, but JS, without my asking, recommended me for a client assignment, landing me on a project assignment instead of remaining sitting on the beach. Not working may sound like fun, but not when I was eager to start learning and moving on with my career. If it hadn’t been for JS, my experience would have stunted from the start.
Take HF and HD. It was nothing but fun to partner with the two of them to help establish a new department within our company. We supported each other through difficult times. But it was so enjoyable to partner with like-minded peers to accomplish our goals.
Take CB who, again without my asking, championed me throughout our organization, building my credibility amongst the senior leadership. She helped me with projects, was a sounding board, and was a thought partner. I would not have had the success I had without her support.
And take the three women I worked with at a start-up incubator. So giving in sharing knowledge and tips. Always there for support and encouragement. Being a mirror for each other—seeing the great, wonderful strengths in each other that it is hard to see in oneself.
I believe there are more generous professional women in the world than many may think. We read stories about women not supporting one another. There is the famous Madeleine Albright quote where she said, “There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.” I’d like to say as a corollary that there should be a special place in heaven for all the women who have helped other women, including all those who so kindly have helped me.
The Insight: When it comes to female friends at work, it’s no different than any other relationship—treat others as you’d like to be treated. Be the kind of female partner with whom you’d want to work. It is actually much more powerful and gratifying to help someone else succeed. Also, build your network of professional girlfriends. Foster your relationships, stay connected as you move on to new roles, support each other as you face new opportunities and challenges.